


The Words Get In The Way

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, Episode Related, Filk, M/M, Poetry, Romance, Slash, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-01-18
Updated: 2000-01-18
Packaged: 2018-11-10 05:43:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11121081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Ray's feelings during COTW.





	The Words Get In The Way

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Rated G

Rated G. Pairing: RV/BF

Disclaimer: I don't own Due South, any of its characters, or Gloria Estefan's lyrics. Heck, I don't even own the plot, my Muse does. I just write what the voices in my head tell me to.

~~~The Words Get In The Way~~~

_  
_

~I realize you're seeing someone new

I don't believe he knows you like I do.~

Ah, yes, the new me. I hear he's pretty good, and he seems like a nice guy. Good cop. But does he really take care of you? You're harder, more cynical than I remember you ever being before. When I saw you, the first thing I remember is hearing Ma's voice in my head saying 'Doesn't anybody look after that boy?'

_  
_

~Your temperamental moody side

The one you always try to hide from me.~

Does he know those little signals you always give off when something's bothering you? Or does he let you push him away like everybody else does?

_  
_

~But I know when you have something on your mind~

Yep, those signals. The ones you're giving off right now. The ones that say, 'Ray, I have something to tell you, and you're not going to like it, but you're going to go along with it anyway.'

_  
_

~You've been trying to tell me for the longest time~

Why don't you ever just get to the point? I mean, we both know how this is going to end. I talk it out of you, you say it, I do it. So can we just get it over with? I guess that's why I do talk it out of you, even when I know I'm going to regret it. I'm gonna regret it eventually anyway, might as well get it over with. Besides, it gives me the comforting illusion of having a choice.

_  
_

~And before you break my heart in two

There's something I've been trying to say to you~

Of course, I *don't* have a choice. Never did. I'd do anything you ask. Even when you don't ask. And you know that, but you still pretend to manipulate me into doing it. And I'm onto your little game, but I pretend to let myself be manipulated. I guess it's just easier for both of us to play along than to face the truth, which is that I love you.

_  
_

~But the words get in the way

There's so much I want to say

But it's locked deep inside 

And if you look in my eyes

We might fall in love again~

I know you knew how I felt about you, and in your own bizarre way, I know you loved me back. It might even have gone somewhere eventually, but not right now. If I bring it up, even indirectly, it would just distract you from the case you're working on. Maybe someday, but I don't think either of us is in any condition for dealing with, um, 'us,' right now.

_  
_

~I won't even start to cry, 

And before we say goodbye

I tried to say 'I love you'

But the words got in the way.~

'It's good to see you, Benny.'

_  
_

~Your heart has always been an open door

But baby, I don't even know you anymore.~

You're so serious, so focused. And sort of, I dunno, closed off. I used to be able to almost read your mind, Benny, but not now. There's something you're holding back from me.

_  
_

~And despite the fact it's hurting me

I know the time has come to set you free.~

I'm no good to you like this, stuck in a hospital bed having what the department shrinks call "a variation on multiple personality disorder induced by my time undercover." You need to be up north, catching the bad guy. But I know you'd stay here with me if I asked, or maybe out of a sense of duty. So I have to let you go. I don't want to, but I ought to, and doing what I ought to is the quickest way I can get back to being Rayyour Ray. God knows I've been doing enough of ignoring what I ought to do for the past year.

_  
_

~But the words got in the way

There's so much I want to say

But it's locked deep inside, 

And if you look in my eyes

We might fall in love again.~

We'll have plenty of time to talk when you get back. I can let you go for a few days. After all, you let me go when I had to. Besides, what we have, it doesn't go away. This is the kind of thing that lasts forever. When you come back, I'll say it. For now though, I guess we just keep saying it in code.

_  
_

~I won't even start to cry, and before we say goodbye

I tried to say 'I love you' but the words got in the way.~

"Do you Mounties still always get your man?"

__

__

~I'm trying to say 'I love you'

But the words get in the way.~

"Go get 'em, Benny."

You know what I mean.

~~~End~~~


End file.
